led by the things we imagine we are controlling

“When we act, as it seems, with the greatest spontaneity and vigour, we are to some extent led by the things we imagine we are controlling.  Moreover, the very expansion of our energy (which reveals the core of our personality) is, ultimately, only our obedience to a will to be and to grow, of which we can master neither the varying intensity, nor the countless modes.”
Teilhard de Chardin – ‘The Divine Milieu’ (Harper: 1957, p.49)